From the time I was 15 I knew France was where I needed to land - at some point, for an extended period of time preferably one year or more. My freshman, first, scariest [by nature] not altogether unpleasant year of college was spent in exploration. I lived, for the first time, on my own with responsibility over my own education and my own bedtime. I also had full responsibility over my friendships. This, here, is where I get sucked in and stuck a bit. Senior year of high school, or the bac, or any last year of schooling before adult-hood begins to set in is kind of a joke. The first year out, figuring out your surroundings. Year 2, who am I? Year 3 - Abroad. Am I who I think I am? Year 4 - better get my shit together, graduation is soon. [syke! Add another year for that bit of self-exploration in Europe or Asia, Antarctica if you were brave enough.]
So instead, we've skipped level 2 and jumped right to level 3 without any real foundation. What's here is maybe a rocky start from high school and a few first attempts at college. And a dwindling supply of chocolate. I don't think I'm the only one who molds into the personality of the people around me. What scares me is what happens when no one is there. Is this a reflection of who we are? Are we a collection of the things we like in others and then mirror onto ourselves, branching out ever so often to grasp onto something making it more permanent that the rest? Are the aspects about ourselves that we like only apparent when we seem them lacking or abundantly spilling forth from others? Or are they always there? Where does true happiness lie? Is it a place to approach on foot or on thought?
Being 19 and abroad renders one many things. An amateur, naïve philosopher to name drop a bit. The term 'abroad' comes from a middle English phrase, "widely apart". I don't yet know how I feel about trying to solidify my 'foundation' whilst widely apart from everything that is natural. It's very blunt, like a fjord - not impossible, just dramatic.
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